‘NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART’ — PART TWO OF AN INTERVIEW WITH RW MARKS, WRITER OF ‘THE DON OF THE DEAD’

With a few more highlights from the long journey to create this one of a kind historical drama vs. horror screenplay, RW digs deeper into the analysis and critiques about his potential star-studded blockbuster, graphic novel possibilities, and look towards the future of his studio work. This time we ask him “Why are you interviewing yourself?” in the first place.

BACK TO PART ONE HERE >>>

Featured illustrations created by Jeff Dywelska
© 2020 (Instagram @jeffdywelska)

You decided to title this interview “Not for the faint of heart.” Why?

RW– “I want all my friends to know how much I appreciate the support they’ve given me during this entire thing. It hasn’t been easy. Ten years. Wow. Especially those that took the time to read the articles and have listened to me work out the final parts of the story in the last 6 months. This mobster-zombie business isn’t for everyone. Plus the story itself is just wild. And now I’m adding more to it with backstory and psychedelic illustrations? Good lord. To quote a friend, ‘The excruciating minutiae of it all.”

How excruciating are you planning to get?

“Well to start, I took detailed photos of all my early notebooks the other day. Right from day one. The lighting on the patio was beautiful. Sunlight dappling through the leaves. What was I supposed to do?”

Doesn’t sound excruciating. Is that all?

“I wanted to be completely open with all of the feedback I’ve received from competitions too. A good reference for any potential producers to know what they’re up against before they read it. I’ll include most of the notes and comments at the end of the interview in case anyone’s interested. Definitely some good laughs in there. Nothing I didn’t expect though, and a lot of great insights. And surprisingly quite a few compliments mixed in with the criticism. After spending so many years on this, I know where most of the weaker spots are.

“Page 130: Why would Allesia open a security door during a zombie outbreak when the person behind it won’t answer? This seems like a potential plot hole.”

— SLAMDANCE COMPETITION ~ COVERAGE REPORT

“I absolutely love this note. I faced this very question while I was writing. I was so close to the end of the story. Damsel in distress on one side of the door. Killer zombie Capuzzo brother on the other. The analyst asked why. The answer is there was no other way to advance the plot. Besides, Allesia is smart. She weighed the options. No time for dialogue in a situation like that. Besides, what if it was one of the living Capuzzo brothers behind the door, but he was too injured to talk?“

“And because it isn’t a real zombie movie unless somebody uses poor judgement and let’s them all in. Characters with perfect logic have no place in horror films. Just like there’s no crying in baseball.

I’ve nearly completed cataloging all the illustrations commissioned from artist Jeff Dywelska as well. I say almost because he just keeps drawing. He’s been building a collection of work for almost a year. We’re finally starting to comb through and get everything ready to be launched.”

Launched?

“Most of the artwork and illustrations will be introduced here on courtesybrand.com and on the official @thedonofthedead instagram page. Pick your poison. We’re planning some very special limited edition framed prints, and possibly some apparel, stickers, or other merchandise based on our designs. Extra-extra, read all about it.”

“I’m pretty excited about where this could all lead. It’s been so long since I’ve allowed myself to work on anything else. And so thankful to be working with Jeff on all the artwork. It’s about time we started collaborating on something. He’s made it all come alive. Even if the script itself never gets seen again. The illustrations will live on.”

Where do you think it will lead to?

“It’s with the universe now. If I can honor the new artwork and build a framework to display it, then I think that will be part of the next step. Learning how to build a WordPress site has also been a really nice byproduct of the Courtesy Brand project. Still so much more to learn. And it’s given me another writing outlet now that the screenplay is done. I realized soon after completion that I needed to just keep working on creative goals, either expanding Capuzzo’s story even further, or on something else entirely.”

“Something most likely photography based. But it’s not so cut and dry anymore. Writing is such a big part of my life now, I think I have to keep going with it and find something that utilizes both. And this is where Courtesy Brand comes in.

I have quite a few plans to show more of our family history too. The photography collection is surprisingly vast. I’m not sure how many of my friends even know that my grandmother and great-grandmother where both heavily interested in photography. We’ve got album upon album upon shoebox in storage.”

“I’d like to put it all together and connect their timelines with my more recent photography somehow. Very curious how it will all come together. It’s going to be another massive project. Great, see you in another ten years.

We’re calling it the ‘Marks-Stevenson Collection‘. I hope some of the people that browse these articles will come back to the site and see what develops over time. I’m working with my mother, a life-long master at organization and file management, to sort through, curate and connect the stories.”

You hinted at it already, so what is THE END of The Don of the Dead?

“That’s the thing about this story. Movie or no movie. I can spoil it all I want. And even if you knew the ending. There’s just no way you’re going to know how it gets there.”

Would you be willing to change anything if you found a buyer?

“Everything except the title. It explains everything you need to know about both mafia and zombies being involved. I’d be over the moon for any and all opportunities. Even if I’m not involved in the rewrite process. I am realistic. I know I’m a first-time writer, but I also know that this script is really something to behold. The most pleasing feedback that I’ve received so far is that it’s enjoyable to read. That really meant a lot to me.”

“It’s a great idea. A lot of people do not have ideas like this. And you know, having read every zombie movie in the book, this is one that I haven’t read, and I really feel like it could make people go, “Yeah I’ll see this.”

— PILAR ALESSANDRA ~ OnThePage.tv

“Absolutely looking forward to discussions and commitment to work the 4th draft with any interested studios. I’d be so thrilled to see this thing on the big screen, it would have such an impact. So all you producers and readers out there please get in touch. Let’s roll up our sleeves and get to work on this thing.

Streaming services like Netflix would be another great option. The Don of the Dead could easily be a series instead of a feature with just a few adjustments.”

“This would make an amazing comic book. I would research how it works. They could see the script for the graphic novel series. It has a lot of potential here. Don’t give up. It’s good. Keep going.”

— PILAR ALESSANDRA ~ OnThePage.tv

“The graphic novel idea may even be the better way to go. Some of the main critique points were that the story stretches the suspension of disbelief too far. I happen to think some radically illustrated comic panels would solve that problem.”

You mentioned photography?

“It’s been a while now since I’ve really given it my full attention. Even though my day job is in the photo industry working as a photoshop and print technician. A great place called The Lab Professional Image Works. I work with some amazing artists and am always finding myself inspired by them.

Been shooting quite a few rolls lately. Working my way back up to production level studio work. Opening up to it again. Feeling refreshed after such a long break.”

“I’ll be ready to take on new clients as of July 1st, 2020 in both 35mm photography and digital services like photoshop, file management, backups, etc. Having recently gotten back into Adobe Premiere video editing, I will also be adding that service to the line-up after a few more practice projects.

Many of the digital services are able to be performed remotely if needed, so I see no reason why I shouldn’t roll out my first business model globally. Hey? So please allow me to introduce my own website while interviewing myself–”

Some parts of this script are excessively violent. Why did you go so far with this?

“A violent movie with zombies and mobsters combined? What?”

“Violent? You forgot stylish. Ground breaking. Rule bending. Too long. Too jarring. 3D and 2D mixed animation over live action, psychedelic visions, hallucinations and zombie transformations, dream sequence montages and multiple time-jumps with elaborate transitions. Too much?“

“Page 131: It may be stretching the suspension of disbelief too much to introduce zombie telepathy into the plot.”

— SLAMDANCE COMPETITION

“Yes sorry, I forgot to mention zombie telepathy.

To quote Jeff while we were breaking down the story for artwork, he stated in his most Homer Simpson-esque expression, ‘But I like zombie telepathy.‘ So there you have it. The kid stays in the picture.

These competitions were worth every dollar. Still waiting to hear from the fourth. By all the notes I’ve received so far, I could tell the analysts really paid attention to even the finest details.”

“Stefano is another great character that acts as a very detestable rival, but his goals and motivations are clear, making him more than just “the villain.” I really enjoyed how we got to see how him and the Don interacted as children, as it really helped lay the groundwork for their split as adults. It’s an interesting family dynamic they have, and that deep seeded jealousy really helps the audience understand just where he’s coming from when he acts out against the Don.”

— THE SCRIPT LAB SCREENPLAY CONTEST ~ ANALYST B141D

So who do you think is going to like a story like this?

“I really think it has pretty wide appeal due to the long backstory. You definitely have to be a horror fan though. And an action fan. And a mafia fan. Also a drama fan. I’m into artsy visual movies as well. There is a mix in this story, let me tell you. It’s complicated and you’re going to want to hold on to your seat. I literally had to smash two stories together to make this happen.”

Are you worred about someone stealing your idea?

“I was before it was finished. The title especially. But now I have proof of concept and a WGA copyright. Just hoping for a little bit of that first-to-market mobster-zombie cheddar, you know you what I mean?

Besides, even if you came up with something close to the same premise and stole my title, there is no way you’d end up with the same story. I just don’t think it’s possible. And if someone does, then hopefully all the documentation I’ve done is proof enough that I am the original author. This could also prove to be profitable. Better call Saul.”

So what you gonna do with all that cheddar if the screenplay sells?

“The biggest IF I can imagine. Well, IF by any stroke of universal luck this script can sell to a producer or film studio, it would literally be like winning the lottery. Except a lottery that I worked really hard for. A lottery that I refused to give up on. I can feel good about that.

I would definitely delve back into photography, full steam. Already have to some degree. And find some way to be more involved in the Surrey arts community. Something about this city I really believe in.

And since money can buy time, I would likely develop the prologue for the story. I still find the Capuzzo characters interesting and they keep giving me new ideas. I have the whole structure down for their early years in New York This would be the tale of how the Capuzzo Family Empire came to power from their humble beginnings.”

NOTES FROM THE CAPUZZO PROLOGUE [1912 -1932] —

Anton Capuzzo and his five sons arrive to New York on April 15th, 1912. The day after the titanic sinks. Picking up the closest newspaper with the headline “TITANIC SINKS”, their first experience with english and a printed press. Considering the long voyage from Italy by sea, they consider themselves very lucky to be safe and on land in their new country.

The youngest Capuzzo boy, Luca, see’s a man snap a photograph from the deck of the ship as they disembark, peaking his interest. Later, his father buys him a camera as a gift. Their home darkroom project leads to investments and opportunities in the industrial chemical companies. Something they will find very handy later on in the story.

After the long sea voyage, they walk a great distance to their new home in Harlem. Getting acquainted quickly, the children make friends, Renato finds a small gang to be a part of, and Anton finds a friendly local bar with a free stool, making quick connections in the liquor transport and grain agriculture industries. A second job as an ash-cart driver leads to a promotion and great access to farms and open land like back home in Italy. From a long line of soil experts, Anton uses his knowledge to help struggling crop owners and in doing so gains favor and business contacts with many influential people.

In 1923, with the liquor transport and agriculture industries on lock down, Anton becomes more ambitious and buys his first nightclub as an investment. And he does it well. This is when the attention starts coming his way. But instead of backing down, he and his sons weaponize and create a new unrivaled empire able to thrive during prohibition. The Capuzzo Family is here. The Capuzzo Family is ready.

You mentioned graphic novel?

“I love the idea. I think this story could easily capitalize on what ‘The Walking Dead’ has started. I would jump on an opportunity like that in a heartbeat. There is a really big story here. A lot to unpack. And characters who almost write themselves.

The Don of the Dead – A graphic novel series.

Can’t you just see it?”

And one of your characters is into photography? Coincidence?

“Yes and no, I couldn’t resist. Lucasanto Capuzzo. The youngest brother, born in 1900. I originally molded him as the young Michael Corleone type of course, but his own personality soon took over on the page. He’s the same age as Duke Ellington, that was a coincidence too.

They were quite close once the Capuzzo’s landed in America, growing up around the same neighborhood. Little Luca used to take pictures of patrons outside the popular nightclubs with his cumbersome camera and tripod, while Duke would get the people smiling and dancing with various instruments and songs. Who could resist these two?

Duke and Luca were best friends and great business partners. This all came about while working on the prologue story. I really enjoyed sewing the Capuzzo family into aspects of real American history.”

“The photography plot point was something to look forward to when I sat down to write, but it also fits into the larger plot. A notion that photography would be back in my life soon, playing a bigger role than ever. The studio is completely setup now.”

What’s the studio like?

“Just acquired it this January. A raucous music rehearsal space in the evenings, dead quiet in the daytime. So mostly served as a peaceful writing office while I toiled away at the action-packed ending.

Spent many days in there co-working with my good friend Andrew Lachkovics, a software developer out of Vancouver. We play guitar together sometimes and go by ‘Giraffle’. Some of the simple recordings we’ve done have turned out not to be half bad.

The studio is really coming together now for photography and definitely some more music too.”

“Dope lighting, sound ready, mostly 35mm, but fully able to go high-end digital or 120mm as needed for any project scale. The backdrop should be here in the next few weeks, but even without it, I just need some bands in here to get started with some fun shoots and see where things go. Portraits? Product shots? Ready to shoot once the covid safety regulations ease up and we can all relax a little bit while still being safe.

Here’s a joke–“

That’s how you start your jokes?

“Everybody loves The Godfather. What’s the only thing wrong it?
— There’s no zombies!!
Hey, you know what’s the only problem with The Walking Dead?
— There’s no 30’s mobsters!“

[…]

“Pathetic.”

Speaking of, what about that list of never-in-a-million-years celebrities that you promised from part one?

“Okay, check this out. I took this list way too seriously. I’m no casting director, but now that it’s done, I could imagine it.”

SUGGESTED HOLLYWOOD ACTORS FOR — ‘THE DON OF THE DEAD’

Tom Hardy ~ or ~ Jim Carrey
— as lead role Don Anton Capuzzo
(Note: I originally envisioned Mr. Hardy, but I just found out he is the lead role in the new film ‘Capone’, struggling with hallucinations, written and directed by Josh Trank. Happy I was on the right track there. After careful consideration, I thought how I would love to see Mr. Carrey flex his dramatic muscles again with this exciting, multifaceted and tragic character)

Charlize Theron
— as Adele Fournie-Capuzzo, beloved wife to Anton & mother to their five sons.
(Note: Both Ms. Theron and the Adele character are originally from South Africa)

Ryan Gosling ~ or ~ Seth Rogen
— as Lucasanto Capuzzo, youngest son
(Note: Mr. Gosling and Mr. Rogan are quite different actors, but there is something I see in both of them for this role. Mr. Gosling was great in ‘Gangster Squad’ and Mr. Rogan recently starred in a 1920’s pickle brining time-travel caper. I haven’t seen it yet but I can’t get enough of that premise. Would love to see a more dramatic leading role for him.)

Lady Gaga aka Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta
— as Allesia Vespone-Capuzzo, long lost love interest of Luca
(Note: Currently this character does not have a lot of depth, though essential to the plot. I would love to see how Ms. Gaga would bring more life out of the Allesia character.)

Jason Momoa
— as Renato Capuzzo, the oldest, largest, most menacing brother
(Note: Mr. Momoa was the first big name actor I had in mind for this project. The. Perfect. Renato. All the others are derived from his role. I cannot fathom a better choice. And yes that is a subtle yet merciless Aquaman pun).

Tom Holland
— as Anthony Capuzzo, Renato’s son
(Note: A darker role for young Spiderman.)

Alison Brie
— as Emily, Anthony’s mother
(Note: It’s a short but wild ride for tough-as-nails Emily, hang on Ms. Brie.)

Michael Shannon
— as Don Stephano Vespone aka Mayor Stephen Valtieri
(Note: I’ve had Mr. Shannon in mind ever since I saw how evil he could be portrayed in a few of his movies, including ‘Boardwalk Empire along side Steve Buscemi. The ultimate unyielding villain.)

Giovanni Ribisi
— as Don Carlone Vespone, Stephano’s father
(Note: My idea would be to CGI Mr. Ribisi into a much larger and old body, to be of similar size to both Stephano and Renato *major plot twist hint.* He’s such a masterful actor, he could handle the role change no problem.)

John Leguizamo
— as Victor Messana, consigliere to the Capuzzo Family
(Note: Mr. Leguizamo had an amazing performance across from Dennis Hopper in George Romero’s ‘Land of the Dead’. If unfamiliar with that story, those zombies remember trace amounts from their past lives and are somehow able to ‘learn’ and use tools, something that was new to zombie films at the time. The Don of the Dead proudly takes this idea to the next level.)

Elijah Wood ~ or ~ Adrien Brody
— as The Chemist, Edward Foyle
(Note: The age of the chemist is not set in stone, I think both of these actors would be perfect for this role.)

“There are some smaller characters I left out. Most notably were the three other Capuzzo brothers; Silvio, Carlo, and Dante. They definitely have lesser roles but each serve a specific purpose. One competition critic pointed out that they are essentially copies of each other. But five brothers is key to many of the action sequences. Things get out of hand quickly in this film. These boys need backup.”

What about directors?

“I’ve been thinking about this since the original question from my pitch meeting with Kyle and Jennifer at Eagle Vision Production in 2010. I tried to pick only one, but as mentioned in some of the critiques, there are almost two different movies spliced together here. I thought it would make sense to have two directors as well. That isn’t something entirely new, but I thought it would help to keep that dang shark from jumping quite so high. But really, go ahead and jump.“

SUGGESTED HOLLYWOOD DIRECTORS FOR — ‘THE DON OF THE DEAD’

If I had to pick ONE director that was able to cover the wild range of calm and frantic visuals in this story all wrapped in a rebellious non-linear story. I would have to say no other than —

Christopher Nolan ~ Batman: The Dark Night Trilogy ~ Following ~ Inception ~ Memento ~ Interstellar

But we can’t forget how extreme the ending of this new screenplay is. Rabid hallucinatory illusions, unflinching horror and death, and speed, lots of speed. With all respects to Mr. Nolan, in my ultimate dream I would love to see him team up with one or all of the following directors and really put the audience through the ringer —

Frank Miller & Robert Rodriguez ~ Sin City
George Miller ~ Mad Max: Fury Road
Gaspar Noé ~ Enter The Void
Pete Travis ~ Dredd

We’d all be in real trouble if any of these two lists came true.

“If I may, as an older photographer, I would love to see this story shot on film. Especially the late 1800 scenes. Something that really matches that era of photography. Heavy grain, maybe even in black and white or with a cyanotype or sepia treatment.”

Are you trying to copy The Godfather movies?

“The Godfather movies? Am I trying to copy The Godfather movies? Of course I’m trying to copy The Godfather movies. It’s everything to the mob movie genre. Marlon Brando’s Vito Corleone character was definitely the direct inspiration for Anton. But Don Capuzzo has his own complicated and troublesome history. It’s been too long since we’ve paid such homage to such a historical film. Watch the throne.”

“Generally, most of the characters are introduced with just an age. Add more details about the characters’ appearances, mannerisms, clothing, and so on. This may help the reader envision them on screen and help with potential casting. It may also help each character seem more memorable.”

— SLAMDANCE COMPETITION – CONT’D

“To avoid stereotyping pitfalls, I specifically didn’t describe the appearances of any characters when writing the script. Only by age. I wanted the characters to be anything the reader imagined based on their actions and words. Trying to be progressive over here.”

Is there any relevance to the family name “Capuzzo”?

“I’m pretty sure it’s derived from the Italian word ‘Capo’ which means head or boss. And of course it has a double Z in it so you know there is going to be some major zombie action at the end. There’s your free groan for the day.

Also of note, the main villain’s name is Vespone, a variation of Vespa, which means wasp. Often a nasty pest. Also accurate. Rich, unhinged, and vengeful; definitely no political metaphors there.

The first name ‘Renato’ has a special meaning that is revealed with a poetic subtitle in the last few minutes of the script. You’re not allowed to look it up for yourself unless you’re going to buy the script for and green-light production. Honor system.“

So that time has come, Mr. Robert Wayne Marks, to finally ask the question: Why are you interviewing yourself?

“After all this time, it’s been a much needed closure for me. I needed to reflect on the past ten years and try to piece my life back together. I said it before and it bears repeating. I really do miss photography a whole lot. It feels right when I have a camera in my hand. I have about 40 rolls of negatives that need sleeving, scanning and cataloging. No clue what could be on there at this point. A lot to rediscover. Might be my favourite part.”

“Walking around with my camera lately, setting up the studio for production work, and revisiting my photo archive to collaborate with Jeff on some of his illustrations; all have been like visiting an old friend you haven’t seen in years. A bit strange and unacquainted at first but nothing could feel better. With the bond, builds strength. I’m sure anyone who has taken on a project which ended up so much bigger than they expected can relate.

It’s also a way to reintroduce myself, my family, and my friends, to life after the screenplay. On their own terms, without me having to ramble on endlessly about every detail. Instead I’ll let this blog post do it for me. Read at your own risk. Damn, probably should have said that two articles ago.

“There will always be more questions. The most prominent one that these articles have lead me to is simply: What’s next?

And that is what Courtesy Brand is all about. There are other layers behind it, some big ideas that I’m too embarrassed to divulge until the work gets put in. One step at a time. But I see it as both a structure and a movement of sorts.

The concept of ‘courtesy’ is something very important to me, always has been. Balance is another way I look at it. Is it climate change we want? Or climate balance. A subtle but important twist to the notion. Words have meaning, do they not? They cast spells. To quote Bruce Lee, ‘That’s why we call it spelling.”

“Courtesy is more important now than ever. Those that know me can attest, sometimes I’m a bit forceful about it. I think courtesy and justice go hand in hand. With all that is happening in the world right now, America tragically taking the spotlight as I write this, I just don’t know what else to do from my privileged position in the sunny city of Surrey. So I do my best to offer love, courage and courtesy to the millions in protest.”

“Of course this is a business idea at it’s core, and a Surrey business at that. This is the community I grew up in. I like it here. It’s real. And I think it has a huge potential for a flourishing and powerful art scene. Whatever products or services we create, I want to speak to these same beliefs in community and courtesy. I’m sure it won’t be perfect along the way, but I am excited to start trying.

And not to forget, it’s a way to connect and collaborate with my most creative friends and new artists to build something on our own terms. We’ve all read too much Kafka and Dostoyevsky to do anything else at this point. Gods help us. So that’s what’s next.”

You asked to place the remaining competition feedback at the end of the interview. How do you feel about the critiques you’ve received so far?

“There is so much to them. Of course the story-father in me wants to be protective and make up excuses. Almost every comment is completely valid though. All of their notes would improve my chances to sell the screenplay. But would also turn it into a story that was no longer mine. I’m proud to have finished it on my own terms.”

“So in some way, the criticisms made me more proud of the script itself. They seemed to believe in it the way I did. The premise and the characters, at the very least. I read many compliments between the lines of corrective suggestions.

The only thing none of them picked up on was the sustainable green-roof ending. What? A green-roof in the New York business district in 1933? Hint hint. Nudge nudge. As in maybe we should have started doing this a long time ago. As in climate balance.”

“The Capuzzo family’s legal trade front is soil cultivation and agricultural machinery, based on generations of expert farming knowledge. It only made sense that they would plant a sizeable rooftop garden, even while confined to their five story warehouse-mansion-fortress-sanctuary.

There’s just no other way to survive a zombie apocalypse if you plan on staying in the city, reunited with a long lost love, and raising a child with your beloved Juliet. Or Allesia in this case.”

CLOSING REMARKS from THE SCRIPT LAB

“This is a great concept on paper, but the execution leaves a lot to be desired. This is a script that blends two of the most prolific genres in film; gangster and zombies. However, the jarring way that this story makes that big leap does more to harm the concept than benefit it, and feels like two different genre movies very marginally linked by a specific time period and characters. I would just recommend adding slight, subtle horror elements to the first part of the story, in order to make this transition easier, and the concept more realized.“

CLOSING REMARKS from SLAMDANCE

“Overall, this screenplay has a very creative premise. There is potential here for the zombie outbreak to work as a metaphor for greed for power and control. Simplifying the plot and working or the structure may help the movie come together in the next draft. Good luck!“

CLOSING REMARKS from GOLDEN SCRIPT COMPETITION

“Zombie movies are classics and are very much alive (though, perhaps “undead” would be the more fitting term) today. World War Z, Zombieland and its sequel, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, The Walking Dead… There is a clear market for the zombie apocalypse. That being said, if zombies suddenly show up in a movie where they are not supposed to be there – the audience bought the ticket believing that they were going to watch a Scorsese-esque crime flick – the movie is cheapened.

If, however, it were made clear that there are zombies in these characters’ futures, and the audience knew what they were getting into, then this concept could be very successful.”

“I think this last part will be obvious.
That’s why I called it–”

—THANK YOU FOR READING PART TWO OF THIS INTERVIEW!

If you missed PART ONE, click here for the full article.

To keep up with the latest updates and exclusive artwork releases for “The Don of the Dead” please follow the official twitter page @CapuzzoEmpire and help sell this script with your support.

Please direct all sales, production or graphic novel opportunities to TDOTD33@gmail.com. Many kind thanks for your consideration.

To commission Jeff Dywelska for custom illustrations or mural work please contact rwagency.space@gmail.com or DM through his instagram page @jeffdywelska.

Questions or comments about this article? Reach out anytime to courtesybrandsocial@gmail.com with your thoughts.

— MINI-CONTEST STILL GOING!
In the coming weeks, Courtesy Brand will try to contact one of the potential Actors who grew up close to RW’s hometown and see if they might be interested to read the script and offer their thoughts. Wish us luck! Who could it be?

(HINT: Raised in Vancouver BC, mostly known for comedy, but also a talented writer and director.)

Think you know who it is?
Send your best guess to courtesybrandsocial @gmail.com. The mini-contest winner gets an official “The Don of the Dead” limited edition illustration print (1/10) signed by artist Jeff Dywelska, writer RW Marks, and if you’re lucky, the secret actor. But only if they’re real nice about it. No presh. Thanks again!

— COURTESY BRAND © 2020

If any readers are interested to learn more about the critiques for The Don of the Dead screenplay, we’ve placed the remaining feedback notes below for a complete reference and full transparency. Enjoy.

“So now, you’ve got a completely other movie that you wrote while you writing the movie you were supposed to make, so we have to figure out what to do with all those wonderful scenes. But, and this sounds crazy, but lets say that this does do well, okay? Then you can take all those backstory scenes, and do like, a Godfather 2, but the backstory would have to be supernatural again.

And if people like this it’s like, well, I’ve got a godfather 2, (…) great! I’ll take that too.

Your problem in this project is focus. It starts as one thing, then it becomes something else, then it becomes something else, then it becomes something else, then finally it lands on what it’s premise was.”

— PILAR ALESSANDRA OnThePage.tv

“There are so many characters involved that it is difficult for them all to be developed, but Renato, Don Capuzzo, and Luca each have their own goals and motivations. Unfortunately, even though their respective lives are fleshed out, the sons all act exactly the same. If one were to pick a random line delivered by one of the five brothers, it would be almost impossible to determine who said it. They are carbon copies of each other in all but name. Further personality diversity among the cast would go a long way in adding vibrancy to this unique script.”

— GOLDEN SCRIPT COMPETITION

“The women in this story, however, are a far step down from these developed men. Just about every woman in this story is killed or just flat out dies, for the sole purpose of giving the men more motivation to act out. None of these women feel like actual characters, rather plot devices with nice clothes. I can understand the more masculine view of this story, considering just how male dominated the world of organized crime is, but just giving these women a little more time in the story to be more than set dressing would really help this story feel more fleshed out with multiple perspectives.”

— THE SCRIPT LAB COMPETITION

“However, it is important for the genre and premise to be clear within the first act so that the audience can become immersed in the story successfully. In this draft, the genre tends to come across as inconsistent because zombies aren’t introduced until well into the third act.

Also, try to avoid drastic stylistic shifts far into the movie. In this draft, one is noted on Page 103 when we see graphic novel elements. The other brief animated sequences tend to feel out of place as well.”

— SLAMDANCE COMPETITION

“They don’t call it a mafia family for no reason. Family is key in this script. The bonds between the brothers are put to the test in all stages of the story. The protagonist and antagonist used to be part of the same family. Luca tries to start a new family in the midst of chaos. To try and tell this story without mentioning family would be to try and tell it without words – it would not work.”

— GOLDEN SCRIPT COMPETITION

“The plot is entirely too long, and the shift from historical fiction to horror is not nearly as seamless as it should be. The writing itself is fine; the author is very vivid with his action and descriptions, making the world and its characters very easy to visualize. But the fact of the matter is, this story is too long, and needs a lot of cutting down.”

— THE SCRIPT LAB COMPETITION

“But before we go any further, we need to talk about the zombies. There is a colloquial expression used to refer to movies and television shows that have broken the rules of the world so severely that the audience is given whiplash, jolted from their willing suspension of disbelief. We call this “jumping the shark”. The Don of the Dead jumps the shark as soon as the word “zombie” appears on the page.

There is some foreshadowing, but it is done in such an artistic way that the viewer plays it off as allegory. Crowds of undead could represent the hundreds dead from future alcohol poisoning. After all, this story is grounded in history, and everyone knows there was no zombie apocalypse in New York City during the Prohibition Era – therefore, the foreshadowing must be symbolic.”

— GOLDEN SCRIPT COMPETITION

“Since new characters are continually introduced well into the third act, it can be difficult to keep track of all the important details. I read the screenplay two times, and I still had a hard time keeping track despite taking careful notes. If the audience has to invest too much energy into keeping track of everything, it will be harder for them to enjoy the film.”

— SLAMDANCE COMPETITION

“The dialogue is consistently good, and is probably the best aspect of the story. Every character speaks in a manner and word choice that directly correlates to their character, and manages to get through everything they need to get through without any extraneous exchanges. It’s not exactly “period accurate,” but it does manage to capture the essence of that time period without alienating the audience.”

— THE SCRIPT LAB COMPETITION

“The premise for THE DON OF THE DEAD is novel in its combination of an alternate history, an epic family drama, and a zombie outbreak. However, the structure and execution may need some work to improve the audience’s immersion in the story and the suspension of disbelief.

As currently written, the film incorporates too many plot twists and characters in addition to its fusion of several genres. You do a good job of establishing motives for the characters to seek vengeance against one another, which works well for the mafia part of the plot.”

— GOLDEN SCRIPT COMPETITION

“The opening scene works well to establish that the main subject will be Prohibition and the Capuzzo mafia family. However, we don’t actually witness the beginnings of the zombie outbreak until Pages 94-95, when a zombie attacks the radio announcer and Anthony attacks Don Capuzzo. It might make sense to introduce the idea of a zombie outbreak much earlier, even if it is simply in the context of showing some of the government’s experiments.”

— SLAMDANCE COMPETITION

“However, the biggest flaw in this story is its turn into horror in the last third, and how far that turn goes against the rest of the story. Never mind the fact that the twist doesn’t happen until the very end, the tone and meat of the story has so little to do with these horror twist, that it’s less of a twist and more of a jerk in the wrong direction. The constant use of violent hallucinations is meant to act as a way for the audience to dip their toe in the water, but these scenes are so small and non substantial that they really don’t ease you in as much as they could.”

— THE SCRIPT LAB COMPETITION

“In addition, the majority of the first two acts suggest this film will focus on Anton’s perspective, but when the movie shifts to the zombie outbreak, the perspective shifts as well. Anton becomes a captive zombie while we focus on other characters, some of them only newly introduced. Between the shifts in perspective and the fact that the zombie outbreak doesn’t happen until the third act, there is a sense that this is two very different films spliced together.”

— SLAMDANCE COMPETITION

Thank you sincerely — From Courtesy Brand, RW Marks, and the entire Capuzzo Family.